In this section you’ll find ‘cuttings’, ideas that may ‘grow on you’.
We hope you’ll find them useful.
Cuttings - The Flaws of Perfectionism
When some people think of perfection they think of a piece of jewellery made by a master jeweller. You look at that diamond encrusted broach and it looks perfect, every stone is lined up exactly with every other and it couldn't get any better. It's beautiful. But when you look at that piece, that arrangement under a microscope, and then perhaps at an atomic level, the deeper you look the more you see that the stones are not in alignment, in fact, the deeper and closer you look the greater the flaws become apparent, the lack of alignment and symmetry. But it doesn't matter! Because what you see with your normal eyes is a high enough standard of excellence, a standard that is good enough for almost everyone who see it. No-one is looking at the flaws because what is before them is fine, in fact better than fine! And you know the great thing – at some level the flaws are actually intrinsically supporting the excellence!
So how does this apply to you?
How do your flaws support your excellence?
What standards do you aim for which are good enough?
How are you optimising your performance to refine your excellence because you WANT to not because you have to have perfection?
Cuttings 2 - Are you really that simple?
Ok, I admit it.
The answer is simple if you care to look for it.
The answer is that: “You are not that simple; other people are not that simple.”
Huh?
In fact, you (and they) are actually very complex but I guess at times we’d all rather just label people and be done with it right?
He’s ‘no fun’; she’s ‘such a gossip’, management stinks!
Now, what is the question?
The question(s) are:
Why do we label people?
What is the effect of labeling people?
And even more importantly to start with - what is the effect of labeling yourself?
Until recently I thought of myself primarily as a ‘glass half full person’ - you know - more able (and perhaps willing!) to see the downside of a venture before the upside. And it was sucking the life out of me - but more on that later.
I’m sure you know someone who always seems ‘up’ - or ‘down’. It’s easy to write them off as ‘a bit of a pessimist’ or a ‘cock-eyed optimist’.
But are YOU really that straight-forward that you are either just a pessimist or an optimist? I know some of you will say ‘yes’ and that’s fine. I just ask you to bear with me and consider that actually there is a lot more too you than just that label, and the use of the attitudes that go with it.
To explore the silly side of labelling let me ask you: “When you burp, does that automatically make you burper for life? Is that who you are everywhere at all times? Or just in the context of a good meal or a can of Coke? (!)
Or let’s say you had someone coming to dinner and you wanted to describe this person to other guests. You could say:
He’s a famous sax player
He’s a human rights activist.
He’s a rich man.
He’s married to a famous movie starlet (does anyone say that anymore?)
Etc.
You could say any or all of these things and would that be the sum of the man? Of course not! He is a person with a multitude of experiences and beliefs and values - and although it is simple to treat some aspect of a person as if that is who they are - are they really that simple?
Are you not more than your behaviour in a certain context at a certain time?
So back to thinking as optimism and pessimism. Are you ‘optimistic’ or ‘pessimistic’ all the time? Probably not. But even if one of those ways of thinking tends to dominate your view of the world, could you not consider what it would be like to use the other one in specific times and places?
Winston Churchill said: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity and the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Which world view do you need to have more of? Yes, you read correctly. Sometimes you need a little pessimism (or let’s call it critical thinking) to make sure an opportunity is for you and avoid the pitfalls. You just don’t need to see only the holes in the road!
So where do you have an optimistic view of life or people?
Where have you looked for the best case-scenario outcome?
Having identified at least one or two instances, does not that make the idea of you being an ‘optimist’ or ‘pessimistic’ all the time impossible?
So are you occasionally optimistic now?
It feels good to (perhaps grudgingly) admit that, doesn’t it?
Meta-coaching can help you transform thinking patterns that limit your potential. If you want to overcome psychological and emotional blocks to succeeding, contact us for a free introductory session.
